FRIEND: What’s up? You look really upset
ME: I’m fine.
FRIEND: No,you’re not! Tell me what’s the matter.
ME: Nothing, I’m fine.
FRIEND: Don’t be such a drama queen, tell me what’s bothering you.
ME: What’s bothering me is that I have a face of a moody cow. And every fucking day, I get asked why I’m grumpy! This is why and if you want me to have plastic surgery, go and pay for it because I’m absolutely okay about looking like Kevin Bacon for the rest of my life, just to keep you happy.
FRIEND: Geezz… calm down.
I have a face of moody old sod and it makes me moody.