What’s happened today and a Thankyou. 

Hi,everyone! When writing this, I’m trying to be more positive but it isn’t working so please don’t think I’m back to my happy self because I’m not but of course, I will be soon. Yesterday, writing about my anxiety helped slightly but it better than not helping. You gave me so much support and love in the comments, it was amazing and I felt so much less alone.

So far today, I’ve had two panic attacks today and I can already feel another one coming. Does anyone else have that feeling of ‘shit.It’s happening’ and butterflies fluttering around your chest? That’s happening to me right now.

As you may know, I volunteer at a children’s gymnastics club on a Saturday morning and I really enjoy it. I have so much energy when I’m there and I get along with the kids. But today, I didn’t feel like my usual self and I was petrified that I was going to have another panic attack.

A quarter through the session, I was fine. I was helping the little kids do some gymnastics, I was joking around with the other coaches and I felt confident. But when in the middle of being in charge of a large group of toddlers, which I’ve done many times before, this panic just took over me and I started tearing up. The little kids could tell I was upset and they were asking if I was alright. The thing is I was meant to be looking after them, not them looking after me. It made it worse, I think.

Another coach took over as he could see I wasn’t able to do it and I needed time to breathe. Nobody at gymnastics really gets what I was going through and that’s understandable.

Even though, I’m not pathetic because I’m having these,  I still feel so pathetic.

I’ve let myself down.

But Thankyou  guys so much for your support and I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have this blog. I also promise this will be my last sad post this month 🙂 

Hideaway Girl xxx

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27 Comments

  1. Chloe Lauren

    I know how you feel! I felt like I was getting all panicky today actually! When it happens to me, I also get a pain in my arm, as well as what you said above. I hate the feeling, but just know that you are never alone, and you have me if you ever need to talk. Oh and I mean ever! I don’t mind if you tweet me or private message me. Even if I am busy, I would message you back. It’s just I know how it feels, and I hate to know others like yourself do too. It’s hard, but if you need help, never hesitate to contact me 🙂 I don’t know if that makes you feel any better, because I’m not the greatest person in the world, but I do try.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Tara(Flower in rainy day)

    I know that feeling to. I had panic attacks too and I know how terrible they made you feel. Now I always when I start feeling panic just take a deep breath and imagine how all good things somehow go straight inside me. Than I breathe out and imagine how all panic go outside! I know, it sounds crazy, but it helped me a lot!
    Hope I helped you and good luck xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Chocolatedrops

    You haven’t let anyone down! I know that you feel like that when you get anxiety and things, but please please don’t worry about it! I love your blog do much, and so does so many other people! Just do what you love babe, don’t let people to force you to do anything x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Rosypop

    I think you should really tell your parents and go to a doctor who would help you get your anxiety under control! It seems like you’re more scared of getting a panic attack than the panic attack itself (that’s what happens to me.) I’m so sorry that I can’t do much this is something only you can stop – we’re always here for you and you have not let anyone down! *virtual hugs* xxxxxxxxx stay strong xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. parisianpages

    I wish I could help you but I only had it choice and it wasn’t that big so I don’t know. I feel so bad that I’m not one of your followers that understand these things but I want yoy to know that I’ll keep you in my prayers and I do hope you get better. And please don’t pretend to be happy, I do that all the time and it comes back and bites me in the ( well you know ). It just causes even more stress.
    I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help. I hope you feel better:)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. hopeonline

    I really dont know how it feels to have panic attacks but I know its never easy , keep believing that you can stay positive and you can overcome it gradually 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. mileyblitz

    This post is amazing and don’t try to pretend to be happy when things are going on that you need to talk about! Not every day will be a happy one unfortunately, and it’s okay to let the blogging community know when it’s not a particularly great day. We’re all here for you and I’m sorry about your dilemma. Don’t beat yourself up about it though😕 you’ll get through it ❤️❤️ stay strong

    Liked by 1 person

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