I shouldn’t worry so much.

Hi,everyone! So Autumn is just around the corner and oh my lord, I can’t wait XD It’s not just because my birthday is in October and because it’s nearer to Christmas, there’s so other many things πŸ™‚

I don’t know about you but I’m going to be living in big comforty jumpers and leggings while this lasts (though I did wear Autumn clothes in the summer but you know, it’s Britain, the weather was awful). I’m so excited for the chilled nights of watching Stranger Things and snipping hot chocolate after school. It’s the atmosphere of Autumn that makes me so happy. I’m so much more happier in the Autumn πŸ™‚

The oranges and reds of the season are so lovely to take photos of. I’ve seriously been looking at places near my house to go so I can get the perfect snaps for my instagram. How basic do I sound?!

Anyway, I should probably stop talking about the Autumn and just kinda tell you about what’s been going on recently in my brain.

Right so.

My self confidence has kinda plummeted recently. I dunno why really because I should be happy with what’s been going on in my life but I still have this voice at the back of my brain telling me bad stuff about myself 24/7 and nobody can do something about it. It’s my brain.

I went back to school on Monday but I was so tired. I couldn’t go to sleep on Sunday because my thoughts of worry were whizzing around my head. I even wrote a list down during that night of why I wasn’t feeling great.

Reasons why I am (was) Β worried

  • The bitching is going to start happening again at school.
  • My panic attacks will become more frequent at school.
  • People are going to judge me even more than last year.
  • The awkwardness of not knowing who people are in my class.
  • Cycle of introducing but that scares me because I’m so shy.
  • I’m going to see the stupid and annoying people this year who I’ve tried to avoid all summer.
  • And this is Year 10, the year before my exams and I need to step up my game.

So the next day, I couldn’t concentrate and I was like half-alive because I was so tired.

Anyway I realized that I shouldn’t have worried so much because:

  1. Bitching is bitching. It’s going to happen everywhere and well, the only thing I can do is try to not get involved this year.
  2. My panic attacks aren’t going to go away and actually my friends are there for me so if I ever feel my anxiety worsened, I can talk to them.
  3. Who cares if people are going to judge me?! It’s their problem and in actual fact, they probably don’t give a second glance to me. It’s me, I don’t stand out.
  4. I’m always going to be awkward because that’s me and also, I kinda just need to go and speak to people more and not to be so shy. Also, I know nearly everyone in my classes so I’m alright.
  5. Yeah there’s always going to be stupid people so I just need to figure out how to avoid them more at school.
  6. Okay, I do need to start revising a bit more. Someone told me the other day that I was clever but I just don’t work at it. I’m not clever but I do need to work at it and I will.

I kinda need to realise to grow up and stop worrying about things. I dunno maybe blogging a bit more will help me.

Anyway, I’ll see you again soon (depending on homework!)!

Hideaway Girl xxx

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30 Comments

  1. alanathropology

    I love this post. I just started back at school and have a similar personality (I’m shy, awkward etc). I’ve found that trying not to care what people think of you, and encouraging yourself that you’re doing okay will make things easier. Good luck this year! x

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Elm

    Take it from me – you are so strong. I was a complete wreck in year 10 honestly, but you have everything under control – or more or less. DON’t stress yourself out about revising. Do a little bit at a time, but don’t go mental at the start of the year: it’s not worth it.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Isabelle

    First of all, yay for chilly weather that I can use an excuse to lay in bed and watch TV shows, haha! And second, you need to worry less! From what I read, for some wrong reason, you are really worried of what other people think of you! And that’s not ok! It doesn’t matter! People who wronfully judge are not worth having around, so they are pretty much doing you a favor! Trust yourself, know your value and keep your chin up! You’ll get through it πŸ™‚ And whilst you do it, have some fun! There’s no reason not to!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Sav the Lion

    Honestly. As a guy who’s gone through year 10 before, I have advice for you. I do recommend you do little bits of revision at a time for example making colourful, pretty revision notes as you go along past instead of having a massive cram. Also you have plenty of time before your GCSEs so don’t worry about them for now. I’d like to talk through this whole topic with you so please can you contact me in some way?

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Teenella

    I completely understand how you’re feeling as I’ve just started year 10 as well. All the teachers ever talk about are the GCSE’s which just stresses most people out! But it’s just the start of the year so we have nothing to worry about for a while as long as long as we stay on top of things. Btw my birthday is in October as well!πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Regina5000

    I’m glad you’re being positive about this!! Just don’t care if people start bitching! And I don’t care what people think of me, maybe they envy you, see it that way!!! Why not? XD XD And I’m awkward too, I think it’s pretty normal, I’m starting getting used to it.Sometimes I even laugh at myself, that helps. πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Zimi

    Really wish I could hug u right now! *virtual hug* I would feel the same if I were you, but I have a different schooling system, however, don’t about ur year 10, it’s kinda the most fun u have when ur in school and it’ll pass by in a blur and u’ll be left amazed at how fast time goes! Don’t worry, be happy, my friend! It’ll all be fine! πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

    Like

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