not caring.

 

*This is a ‘creative writing’ piece. This character is not inspired to be me or is totally word to word how I’m feeling. It’s a lot more complex in writing than how I’m feeling. But putting it in another character’s point of view, it helped. But not all of this is how I feel about everything. It’s hard to explain. But this might help people and me further into figuring out what is wrong*

She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her. Her mind is always filled with something that switches her mood and makes her feel like…there’s something wrong. She doesn’t know what though.

She goes through everything in her mind.

  1. Her friends? Kinda but she can’t do anything about it.
  2. Relationships? She doesn’t know. But there’s something but she doesn’t know what.
  3. Family? Who cares?

Maybe that’s what is wrong.

She doesn’t care.

She goes through the same thing every day. Morning. Walk to school. Classes. Break.Classes.Lunch. Class. Home. Homework. Sleep.

Of course at school, she talks and interacts with people but it’s always the same thing;who is bitching who and who likes who. She used to love the gossip and it was the only thing that kinda connected with a small bit of excitement. Something clicked one afternoon in the summer holidays. And she found nearly everything boring.

She didn’t know how to function. She couldn’t find anything to do expect one thing and that was to mess things up.

She destroyed her trust for her friends and how she showed love for the ones she cared about the most. The only things that she didn’t find boring.

Bit by bit, people left her heart and that’s when she stopped caring about anything.

She pretended to care and love but nothing really filled her heart with joy. Only one person but she’s too scared and she doesn’t know why.

She knows that something is wrong but she doesn’t know what.

It’s like trying to figure out what you’ve forgotten. It feels impossible.

 

 

 

 

 

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16 Comments

  1. Chaotic Caramels

    This is great. I understand it’s not you in that sense. I have a publishing club after school, and a lot of stuff people write is like this or personified or both. I’m more a story girl, mixed with dialogue. Or I’ll write out what’s happening. But I’ve always loved this type of writing, and yours is great!

    Liked by 1 person

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