Hi,everyone! I’ve been thinking about the future. Well more than thinking, it’s been on my mind so much these past few weeks. Sometimes it makes me happy, hopeful and excited but other times, it can make me stressed, sad and confused. Adults in my life (teachers, parents and well, my whole family) have been saying that it’s nearly the time of my life where I make life changing choices. For example, what I want to have a career in, what I want to achieve and where or how am I going to get my wants which seems a little scary as I’m getting older and (this may sound weird and stupid) I never really believed I would get older, a bit Peter Pan who decided to become transgender. I’ve recently realised that I will be old and grey one day. It makes me so sad.
I have the choice to study my A-Levels in London or stay in this tiny little countryside town where I live now. The thing is I’m worried about leaving this town (let’s call it Ilfracombe,I love it there btw). I don’t mean that I’ll miss this place because to be honest, it’s so boring here and I feel like I can’t live here for the rest of my existence. It’s a beautiful place here but they’re isn’t any opportunities and work here compared to London. However, I have friends here which I can’t seem to imagine living without. Elle and I had this plan of how we would travel to Six Form together in the mornings which doesn’t seem like a big dream or anything but I feel like I would be abandoning her and I would miss her.. a lot.
Carlos doesn’t know what the hell he is going to do but he has the option of going to the Navy which may be in London anyway but I feel like he isn’t going to stick to that plan so it won’t make a difference to my decision. In reality, Carlos and I might not be even together by then; you never know what’s going to happen.
Anyway, I may even die tomorrow by getting run over so let’s focus on now I guess.
It’s getting to a closed in the Autumn season now and I’m actually pretty devastated about it too. My instagram feed which looks very very autumnal has to end now which is quite sad for me to be upset about but oh well. It’s time to post cute christmas lights and tumblr Costa mugs of chocolate orange hot chocolate (it’s very tasty btw). In the meantime, before December starts, I will still cling onto my autumn postings on social media.
Next weekend, I’m going to be decorating the christmas tree but unlike all the 15 years I’ve been doing it for, this year will be serious and I’m going to be doing a pretty fancy job;not like the tacky falling thistle and broken old baubles on the fake plastic christmas tree which has been happening since J (my 12 year old brother) decided he was going to get involved. So I’m getting my elfs ( Elle or Carlos) to come around and help me. It’s going to be so good.
My friends have been talking about this one trip to Spain that some students (moi and my friends) are going to. I’m going to Spain in May where we will be staying in Malaga and visiting this secondary school there. I bet I’m going to the palest person in Malaga for 5 days. The trip also includes bullfighting (which I’m going to try to protest about in my awful Spanish) and dancing where it’s guaranteed that I will be embarrass myself, oh happy days.
Anyway, I need to catch up on my Netflix watchings 🙂
Hideaway Girl xxx