Smiling and dancing in the cold, and somehow, calm water fountain. I grin towards you and you skip towards me while I laugh and splash a wave of glistening droplets. You give me this look which only we know.I look at how happy you are and it makes me relieved that maybe you’re okay too. The dream ends there and the nightmare starts where another story is told. Maybe, if I’m lucky, it doesn’t have you in it but recently, you have been invading.
I wake up and look at the alarm clock every pitch black morning now. Sometimes, it’s 2 o’clock or 5 o’clock depending on how far I could carry the pain of the scenes of the twisted dream.
I eat and drink and study and watch. This is what my body has been designed to do now.
Eating gets boring and watching get’s repetitive. It’s just the same thing over and over again.
I wait and study for a future where I don’t worry about what the night is going to bring. I want to feel content and happy with myself so I work hard and play hard to make myself the perfect being.
I’m not the only one.
We think we are designed.
I thought we were designed and sometimes I still do.
Everyone wants to be the perfect design.
Most people pretend they don’t want to be but they’re liars. Everyone wants to be perfect.
So I eat, drink and study and watch.
To make the perfect design.