Dear Ballet Boy

Dear Ballet Boy,

You’re probably not going to see this but maybe, a very tiny possibility, you would bother to look at how my life is doing and so search this blog but that’s unlikely. You’ve moved on. You don’t really care about me anymore.

So where do I start? Let me start at the beginning.

In year 7, when I didn’t have any friends, you and Lily were the only companions I had. We were all slightly teased for different things. For you, you were taken the mickey out for your long hair and your love to dance. Yeah, you looked and sounded like a girl but you were my first friend that was a boy. You were a new and interesting thing for me to learn about. I think you thought of me as a project at the start as well.

You were the one to make me start looking after my appearance which got me friends and I needed that. You were the one for me to hug and talk to when I was panicked and upset. You were the one where I could be the weirdest around too.

In therapy, you were one of the four good things in my life that were listed. You were the one I talked about the most in the sessions. I don’t think you know how much you mean to me.

You could be a right truthful bitch sometimes. You could make me self conscious but that was really the only bad thing but in all the time I knew you, we never fell out. I don’t think I’ve ever had that with a person.

Whenever I think of summer, I think of you. We spent summers together where you danced in the green fields and I joined in but I wasn’t as half as good as you. There’s a video of us laughing and throwing strawberries together. It’s probably one of the happiest times I’ve ever been in.

I didn’t really know how good you were at dancing until you moved to a city to a famous dance school where you met talented people and quickly, forgot about me.

My birthday was one of the last events where we were all together as a group of friends. It’s where I had my first unromantic dry kiss with you and it was very forced by truth or dare and you dragging me down a muddy hill. I still hate you for that.  I know you will be gay when you’re older and I don’t think you’ve accepted that yet so my first kiss had no attached feelings to it. Just amusment.

You made me happy for a long time. You were my best friend. And god, I miss you.

Elle and I miss you. I get annoyed when people talk about you as they were your best friends and I don’t like to dwell on how much I miss you because we were both like that towards each other. However, this is a letter to get all things straight about our lost friendship.

I think the last time I saw you was in August and you’re only ten minutes away from me visiting family but in spare time, you rather be on your own than meet up with me.

So I need to move on. Maybe we will meet again but I think it’s come to an end.

Thank you for being a good best friend for 3 years and I miss you but I’m moving on.

Yours faithfully,

Hideaway Girl xxx

 

 

 

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