i’m still stuck lol, however it’s SUMMER

Hi everyone! I’m sorry that I haven’t posted on here in ages but these past few months has/is the time where my brain is blank or running with these horrible things called emotions but I haven’t been able to type it because…I just couldn’t explain my brain right now in words and also (which I also know myself is silly to think) is that I don’t want to be depressing on this blog. I want you guys to laugh and lamely think ‘omg she’s literally goals and sooooooo rellllatttable’. I’m not relatable, please don’t ever call me that again. I still have this knocking in my mind that makes me paranoid but I’m going to seek help soon- maybe. However, I sometimes tell myself I don’t need that professional help; that I’m overreacting.I dunno if that’s just being stupid but I need to figure it out myself, you know?

Although there are other excuses why I’ve fallen off the blogging world, I have been away on the sucky canal boat without any good service and working ,and just spending my days with the few real friends that I have at the moment.

However, I have made myself proud moments during this summer and I think I have stepped out of my comfort zone. It’s surprising how powerful the spur of the moment is because you don’t think and just say yes without even thinking.

First thing first on this (short) list, is that I have decided to fuck it and go on rides which consist of height (of like 20 metres) and dizziness. Yes, they were designed for people as young as 10 but I’m greatly proud of my little victory and I actually felt pretty confident afterwards, not during though. I went on a ride called Miami Dance which basically goes up and down but fast.. very fast. Fellow people on the ride and the spectators down below were laughing at my screaming and well, at me looking paler than usual which is something. It was interesting for some but a chance (which I did not take, just to point out) to pee myself.

The next thing is I did a adventure thing called go ape which is climbing trees and well, I did very well on it even though I was shaking the whole time but I had to look after my mum the whole time as she decided to become a tree hugger rather than being a supervisor to me.

I also saw a horror film today, the weird scary doll one called Annabelle which was ehhhh… so so so so so scary. I hated it and I literally just hid behind my legs the whole entire time in the cinema.

I feel like that’s the only interesting things that is happening in my life at the moment as I haven’t spent that much time with my friends because most of them are busy in their lives of boyfriends or jobs. So I’m just chilling and failing to revise.

Also did I mention that I’m going into Year 11? HAHAHAHA I’M REALLY NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

During my time away from here, I have been thinking about this blog and I was thinking about new ideas for it but I’m not going to make any promises but I want to be more true on here because I shouldn’t hide and pretend that I’m okay because I’m not and I have no idea why.

But we just have to keep going and breathe because it’s meant to get better and I still have hope.

Astrid xxx

aka. hideaway girl