Last week was probably the saddest week of my life so far. I’m not going to state what it was on this blog because 1. This blog is read by a lot of people who I know and 2. I don’t really want to tell people and be like ‘poor old me’. Funnily enough, it has nothing to do with my mental health really however it has made it worse.
I still feel pretty numb about it but there is times where it kicks in and I want to shout or cry, it’s at the most random of times.
Life is sucky at the moment but I know after all of it is concluded and has a plan to figure it out, I’ll be fine. But now, I just want my life back to normal, however, I know it will never be the normal that I felt only a few weeks ago.
It’s weird to think that only one or two things can be slightly changed that everything, literally everything has a different perceptive on it. Like, I’m not that stressed about exams at the moment because of the situation that I’m in.
I’ll tell you some of the things that my view has been changed on:
Deep right? I kinda want to just type it all out on this blog and be like ‘look at how much people fuck me up’ but it’s not fair on them.
I’m lucky to have my mum and Reece (and a few others) in my life because whenever I spend time with them, my life feels a little normal again.
It’s hard to remember how free I felt from the back of my mind 2 weeks ago and how happy, which I probably didn’t think as happy, I was then.
I’m finding it hard at school recently. I think it’s because I look at people around me, laughing and having a pretty alright life, wishing I was them. However, I know people are going/went through shitter times than me so I feel a bit guilty to complain. But I need to just type it out.
I can’t really concentrate on a lot of things like school and this blog but I know in a month or so, I’ll be coping enough to be able to concentrate fully. This shitty month or so is the only excuse I have for not blogging.
As well, I don’t know when I’m going to be fully alright again and writing daily so I’m sorry