To people I know in real life.

I don’t do well in social gatherings. It can be in the classroom, walking home from school, weekends out, at the very few parties I’ve been to or just going to Nandos. It doesn’t normally bother me because I would normally be able to fit in and be genuinely interested in what’s going on but recently, I just zone out and my brain just tells me I’m shit all the time.

But the thing which doesn’t help is that I get told that I’m awkward and boring which then, at the next social gathering, makes me paranoid and that I want to be liked. Also, people never let go of your past even though it was in bloody year 9 and I went through a goth stage but still, I always have people reminding me of it which is fine if it was just once in a while but when it carries on and on, it just gets irritating and it becomes an insult.

People at my school have found out about my youtube- maybe this blog but who gives a shit? I just don’t want Hideaway Girl to become an insult because I’ve been working on this for nearly three years and it’s a place where I can be myself and interact with friends all over the world. I’ve created so many memories on here, I’ve documented so many bits of my life and I’ve grown as a person on here.

When I started, I was 13 years old. My mental health was pretty bad (this isn’t the blog post to go into detail about so I’ll talk about it in future blog posts.) This year, I’ve gotten back on track and have cared less about what people think. However, of course, I still care about what people think of me; everyone does. But now, I can get over people faster and just be who I am. I don’t know who I am yet but I think, during nearly three years of writing on here, I’ve gotten closer to finding out and I’ve seen so many other friends going through the same process of growing up with me.

I’m not going to give up blogging, even though Hideaway Girl has become what they call an ‘insult’. I want to wear it with pride because it’s who I am and it’s where I’ve met another side of me.

However, due to people that I know knowing now, my blog is going to become a little tighter in the ways of revealing friendship problems and things that are going on in my life. In the past, I’ve spoken about friendship troubles on here and etc. which isn’t sensible to do now because I don’t want to cause more drama in my ‘real’ life and I don’t want Hideaway Girl to become a gossip channel for my classmates.

Furthermore, I would also like to say that I won’t stop talking about my anxiety and so on. I want people who I know in this small town that they aren’t alone in their thoughts and they can always talk to me. Also, I think talking about mental health is a really important subject for me to address here (and away from the screen) but also, be able to see how far I have come.

I want to say something to the people I know in real life: 

Well, I don’t really know how everyone found out about it and so on but thank you, I guess, for getting my views up but I want my blog world to be separated from my world that I see you guys in. If you have a bad interest in it, I want you to know that I’m going to carry writing on here because I love my blog, I love the people who I’ve met on here, I love just writing my thoughts out and getting support back. I’m proud of what I’ve achieved on here (even if it’s small) and I’m just going to say this:  keep your thoughts or whatever to yourself because all it is going to do is entertain yourself and making yourself look like a dick. Cheers.

But thank you to the ones who I do know in real life and have supported me. It really makes writing on here even more fun knowing that the people I love like what I’m doing.

Anyways, to my readers and aspiring bloggers, continue what you love doing (if it’s legal and whatever) and tell the haters that you will carry on.

Astrid xxx

p.s: I ranked 23rd best blogger for teens (which I’m guessing is in the world) which is pretty cool as the 1st place was Teen Vogue. Anyways, thank you guys for reading my blog; I don’t know why because I just ramble on here. If you want to see the ranking and so on, its here.

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42 Comments

  1. J | thenellybean

    Well done on making it onto that list – you totally deserve it! Also school goes by surprisingly quickly and you’ll hardly speak to any of your classmates when you’ve all gone your separate ways. That’s just reality and if any of your schoolmates start turning your blog into a gossip hot topic, that reflects on them. You just do you xx

    Liked by 3 people

  2. buttononline

    Love this post and I know that this took some courage to write as it is obviously so close to your heart. If you react to the people who don’t like this blog or the YouTube channel then they will keep doing it so even if you do react just be nice about it and ‘the joke’ will soon get old. And about being boring I was at a Christmas party with my friends and locked myself in the bathroom because it was the only place where I could get away so as long as you don’t do that then i don’t think that you can be boring. Hope you have a better week. XXX Button

    Liked by 2 people

      1. buttononline

        Well that is good to hear currently crying because we have mocks in a couple of weeks so a bit stressed and teacher not willing to help me when I don’t understand so, so far this week is going great xxx Button

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Sarah Faith

    Aah, this is such a good idea. For some reason, it’s hard for me to talk about my blog in real life with most people – so I haven’t put my link anywhere or told any of my friends about it, besides my family. I of course love my blog and my readers, but putting myself out there is still hard. Cheers to you for doing this and continuing to write about you and your life. And congrats on being ranked 23rd! That’s so cool xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. hideawaygirl

      I was the same when I started blogging, I didn’t even make any social media for my blog 🙂 Whenever anyone I know follows my blogging Instagram, I always block them but maybe it’s time for me to let them and maybe have let my life have a even bigger role in blogging xx Thank you so much, I still can’t believe it haha x

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Lorelie Joy

    Damn, that’s a big deal, great job making it onto the list! Before starting my blog, the only hesitation I got was people at my school finding out about it. I’m not comfortable with people knowing this side of me because high school kids are assholes and will tear you apart after knowing your vulnerabilities so I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now. But you’re blog is fantastic that people SHOULD know about and SHOULD be talking about it. Your online presence is rising and you have such an amazing influence on others. Let ’em haters hate because they can’t do what you can!

    Ljoy x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. hideawaygirl

      Awh thank you so much Lorelie! Thank you for reading my posts and always commenting such lovely things, they always make me smile 🙂 I get nervous thinking about people reading these posts but when I start typing, the worries all go away 🙂 Anyways, thank you for this comment xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Elm

    I have always admired you more than pretty much anyone else. It’s because you are honest, you don’t hide how you feel even if you have to be a little bit reserved about it. If people start to turn this blog into an insult, remember that they are pathetic because they are trying to teardown something you worked so hard on. You are an incredible, incredible person – you always remain an amazing friend to me. You are dedicated and so many people adore you. Right now, things are quite difficult for you especially because you feel like you’re being blocked from posting what you want to post. Keeping Blogging and real life separate is very important but don’t forget that on your blog, you show yourself and that’s why we love it. Oh! And you really deserved that ranking 🙂 I told you you’re brilliant. I understand what it’s like when people you don’t want to find your blog do and it’s really hard. We’re always going to be here, so if you need to rant then you can message me any time!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Em is Lost

    It must have taken a lot of courage to write this and I admire you so much for everything you do. You have worked so hard on your blog and I’m so proud of you for achieving that ranking! The people in real life who respect this part of your life are the important ones and as you said, don’t let the haters stop you from doing what makes you happy! xx

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Sophia

    I love how you have the courage to write about your life, not just the smaller day-to-day stuff but everything!! I mean I’m 14 and i would never dream of doing anything like this just based on the fact ‘what if people find it…’ but I admire your courage and you’re amazing!!
    xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  8. SmilingDreamer

    LOVE. THIS. SO. FRIKIN’. MUCH. ❤️

    I could honestly relate to this on a very deep & personal level, and I understand EXactly what you’re going through! 😌

    I appluad you for writing this & adressing the issue on your blog, and I’m beyond happy to see you stand up for yourself and that you have the desire to keep going on despite whatever & whoever. 💪

    No one can stop you. As you said, “Continue what you love doing”

    Or like Taylor Swift said it in Shake it off “And the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate and I’m just gonna shake shake shake shake shake” – but in our case it’s “I’m just gonna blog blog blog blog blog” 😂😂

    ANYway, I TRULY loved this! 😊💗

    Oh, and CONGRATS LOVELY! That is amazing! 23rd Ranking – that’s awesome! You deserve it! 🎉🎉🎉

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Mint and Wild

    I’ve only just found your blog but I feel like I can totally relate to you. Well done on standing up and saying you’re going to continue anyway, a lot of people wouldn’t have the guts! I’m also worried about people I know finding out about my blog. I’ve followed and look forward to seeing more content 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. edgeofellie

    Hiya, I’m 17 years old and new to blogging, I’m really passionate about it and I’m trying to find more people who post about the same things I do and I’ve came across you, I face the same problems you do with people finding out about this being a worry of yours, and suffering from anxiety, I would love for you to have a look at my blog, and read my ‘thoughts’ category of the blog especially and let me know how you find it? And also I haven’t spoken to anyone my age into blogging so just for us to have a conversation would be great, thankyou, ellie. Link to my blog- https://allelli3.wixsite.com/mysite

    Liked by 2 people

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