we broke up

Okay, so I need to tell you guys something.

My blog is who I am and you guys have a larger insight into my life than a lot of people I see every day. In a shorter and less complex explanation, Reece and I broke up. I think for me, it’s the right time to write it so I can move on a little bit more.

Of course, I’m upset and I do feel broken. It is heartbreak, I always have this feeling of anxiety and loneliness but I know that will go in its own time. We were together for a year and a half and it was the best time that I’ve ever had with someone who treated me so well.

I’m going to be honest. I didn’t want to break up at all, I still had massive feelings towards him when I did but we were different people and I could tell he didn’t feel the same. It’s difficult to know how he feels and I don’t know how I feel either. However, both of us have a really big year ahead of us and I will always be there to support him.

However, just not having to look out for someone all the time has let me open my eyes and actually, it has helped me be more confident than I was a few weeks ago. Reece is a lovely guy and I will always care about him and love him but just not in the exact way that I did.

I found it hard to believe in love. I didn’t think it existed because, at the end of the day, I thought every man had infidelity because that’s what is always portrayed by the media and I was scared about going into a relationship with Reece. But now, I don’t regret that I did at all. I made a best friend, I was able to tell him everything, I got less self-conscious and I made close connections with a lot of people. I don’t know where I would have been without him.

However, I don’t need him like that anymore. I was very dependent a year ago in a lot of ways but now, I am very independent in a lot of ways and I didn’t have a lot of room to look out for another person 24/7. I think it was getting too much for both of us because we didn’t have room to look after ourselves.

2017 has been a year of happiness and heartbreak but it also has taught me very big and valuable lessons. I’m excited about my future and I think that’s what I need to focus right now. And I raise my glass to Reece because I know that he will do well, he is the kindest yet the most intelligent and mature guy I know. He was the best first love that I could ever have. Even if he might not feel the same about me, I don’t want there to be a stigma around us two as at the end of the day, we see each other all the time and I want to be good friends with him still, it will take time but I know that we will both be okay.

Thank you for always supporting me and I want you to respect my privacy for this subject as I find it hard to talk about still. I’m changing moods and thoughts all the time during this confusing period. Also, I asked Reece to read through this blog post before publishing it as I didn’t want to include anything that was too intrusive etc.

Astrid X

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13 Comments

  1. questionsfromateenager

    I’m sorry about your breakup. They are always hard, regardless how many feelings one still has toward the other person. It’s nice to see though that it empowered you and made you more independent. Just keep making one step infront of the other and you’ll be fine.

    “I found it hard to believe in love” – this is SO RELATABLE. I think a lot of us find it difficult. After all, what is there to prove you wrong? But then certain people come along and change your perspective. It’s funny how views can shift so easily.

    Fiona x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Elm

    Hey Astrid. I’m so proud of you that you have the bravery to post this. You are such a strong individual and `I wish I’d had your attitude whan my boyfriend broke up with me. I know that things are really difficult right now and they hurt so much I’m sorry I’m always here if you need to talk. Heartbreak is a horrible thing and you shouldn’t go through this alone. I know that it may be for the best but it doesn’t diminish how much it hurts. Just remember I’m always a message away because I know how much this hurts XX

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Love, Soph

    Wow, this was a very brave post to write Astrid, I’m so proud of you. This is such a mature post and while I haven’t been in your shoes, I feel so sorry for you and can only hope that the hurt you’re feeling heals with time💗💗

    Liked by 1 person

  4. livingmylifelikemee

    What a well written post! I commend you for sharing such a personal and complex part of your life. It is truly admirable. Just know you have people to support you always.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hanna

    Wow. I was broken when a guy who I had a crush and mutual understanding with had a girlfriend. I almost filled my journal with stupid, cringy angst. Reading this post made me feel pathetic with my reaction when you are so strong dealing with a break up with an official boyfriend. He’s not the only person who can make you feel great in life. 😉 We’re all here for you. X

    Liked by 1 person

  6. TheUnknownWiki

    You’re very brave to post this, out into the world. I’m sorry to hear about this but I’m sure he won’t be the last guy in your life so enjoy what there is to come and don’t look back into the past. I know you are strong and you’ll get through this even if it hurts ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Eleanor Crawford

    hi astrid, just discovered your blog- i am thinking of starting my own but i dont really know how to get started. anyway, i was just wondering if you have any advice, i love your posts, they are so honest and are so lovely to read xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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