Okay, so I need to tell you guys something.
My blog is who I am and you guys have a larger insight into my life than a lot of people I see every day. In a shorter and less complex explanation, Reece and I broke up. I think for me, it’s the right time to write it so I can move on a little bit more.
Of course, I’m upset and I do feel broken. It is heartbreak, I always have this feeling of anxiety and loneliness but I know that will go in its own time. We were together for a year and a half and it was the best time that I’ve ever had with someone who treated me so well.
I’m going to be honest. I didn’t want to break up at all, I still had massive feelings towards him when I did but we were different people and I could tell he didn’t feel the same. It’s difficult to know how he feels and I don’t know how I feel either. However, both of us have a really big year ahead of us and I will always be there to support him.
However, just not having to look out for someone all the time has let me open my eyes and actually, it has helped me be more confident than I was a few weeks ago. Reece is a lovely guy and I will always care about him and love him but just not in the exact way that I did.
I found it hard to believe in love. I didn’t think it existed because, at the end of the day, I thought every man had infidelity because that’s what is always portrayed by the media and I was scared about going into a relationship with Reece. But now, I don’t regret that I did at all. I made a best friend, I was able to tell him everything, I got less self-conscious and I made close connections with a lot of people. I don’t know where I would have been without him.
However, I don’t need him like that anymore. I was very dependent a year ago in a lot of ways but now, I am very independent in a lot of ways and I didn’t have a lot of room to look out for another person 24/7. I think it was getting too much for both of us because we didn’t have room to look after ourselves.
2017 has been a year of happiness and heartbreak but it also has taught me very big and valuable lessons. I’m excited about my future and I think that’s what I need to focus right now. And I raise my glass to Reece because I know that he will do well, he is the kindest yet the most intelligent and mature guy I know. He was the best first love that I could ever have. Even if he might not feel the same about me, I don’t want there to be a stigma around us two as at the end of the day, we see each other all the time and I want to be good friends with him still, it will take time but I know that we will both be okay.
Thank you for always supporting me and I want you to respect my privacy for this subject as I find it hard to talk about still. I’m changing moods and thoughts all the time during this confusing period. Also, I asked Reece to read through this blog post before publishing it as I didn’t want to include anything that was too intrusive etc.