After my grandad passing away and the situation with me breaking up with my boyfriend, I have finally begun to feel less sad. I have begun to find myself and who I am without Reece. To be honest, I’m kinda loving it. I love waking up in the mornings and not know who I’m going to speak to and getting to just do what I want and not have to speak to people. I feel free.
Of course, my brain is still upset and I feel like randomly punching someone/thing sometimes but I don’t have this sinking feeling all the time and I know I will be able to move on.
I was with my
boyfriend ex-boyfriend for a year and a half, we grew up a lot and I haven’t really seen that grown side of me yet in a few ways. I was 14 when I started dating him and now, I’m 16 and I don’t know yet if I can flirt, if I fall in love quickly or who my type is. I have an idea what my type is and what not to look for but I still don’t know what jokes I will have in the future with someone and why I will be smiling in the future; I can’t fucking wait.
I’m trying to enjoy life at the moment, I’m doing stuff at the weekend which I haven’t really done before. Like on Saturday, I went roller skating with my friend and it was actually pretty fun.. which weirdly I feel like I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do that activity a month ago.
I’m starting to bollosm and work out who I am. I was a different person with Reece (my ex) and I love how I was with him but in a lot of ways, I wish I could just smack myself around the head and say ‘THAT’S NOT OKAY’.
Grandad dying at this time was in ways the shittest time but also, a good time. It sounds awful but looking back at his life, he probably had many girlfriends and had thousands of laughs. It makes me realize that this is only one heartbreak, I will have much more but right now, I’m going to take this heartbreak as a lesson and concentrate on being happy, not dwelling over one boy.
I’ve felt single in some ways for a while now. During the relationship, we grew apart and we just didn’t connect in the same way anymore; I can’t explain why and I don’t want to found out why.
However, I’m happy being single at the moment and I can’t wait to party and just be a bit of a flirt haha
Anyways, is that bad for me to say? I dunno, oh well