heres to many more laughs and tears.

After my grandad passing away and the situation with me breaking up with my boyfriend, I have finally begun to feel less sad. I have begun to find myself and who I am without Reece. To be honest, I’m kinda loving it. I love waking up in the mornings and not know who I’m going to speak to and getting to just do what I want and not have to speak to people. I feel free.

Of course, my brain is still upset and I feel like randomly punching someone/thing sometimes but I don’t have this sinking feeling all the time and I know I will be able to move on.

I was with my boyfriend ex-boyfriend for a year and a half, we grew up a lot and I haven’t really seen that grown side of me yet in a few ways. I was 14 when I started dating him and now, I’m 16 and I don’t know yet if I can flirt, if I fall in love quickly or who my type is. I have an idea what my type is and what not to look for but I still don’t know what jokes I will have in the future with someone and why I will be smiling in the future; I can’t fucking wait.

I’m trying to enjoy life at the moment, I’m doing stuff at the weekend which I haven’t really done before. Like on Saturday, I went roller skating with my friend and it was actually pretty fun.. which weirdly I feel like I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do that activity a month ago.

I’m starting to bollosm and work out who I am. I was a different person with Reece (my ex) and I love how I was with him but in a lot of ways, I wish I could just smack myself around the head and say ‘THAT’S NOT OKAY’.

Grandad dying at this time was in ways the shittest time but also, a good time. It sounds awful but looking back at his life, he probably had many girlfriends and had thousands of laughs. It makes me realize that this is only one heartbreak, I will have much more but right now, I’m going to take this heartbreak as a lesson and concentrate on being happy, not dwelling over one boy.

I’ve felt single in some ways for a while now. During the relationship, we grew apart and we just didn’t connect in the same way anymore; I can’t explain why and I don’t want to found out why.

However, I’m happy being single at the moment and I can’t wait to party and just be a bit of a flirt haha

Anyways, is that bad for me to say? I dunno, oh well

Astrid X

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6 Comments

  1. Elm

    I don’t understand why but I’m genuinely nearly in tears from your post. I’m just so proud of you for being able to stand up and say you will be stronger and you are so strong already. You’re an amazing person and you deserve all the happiness ever. Don’t get that. Keep on going and keep on loving and keep on smiling. You deserve to. This is not the end and it might feel awful right now but at some point in the future, you’ll feel even happier than you do at the moment. Well done for just being yourself and writing about it so freely. I wish I could have that kind of courage XX

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ItsSimplyMeJasmine

    Good on you! It’s amazing how strong you’re being and how you’re looking forward for the future. It’s amazing how you’re not giving up, saying ‘this is the end’. You’re getting up and not letting the bad times take over and that’s so awesome of you. You deserve so happiness and I’m sure that’s on the way!! Take care, 2018 is going to be your year❤ xx

    Like

  3. Lorelie Joy

    I’m so happy for you girl! I like how you’re starting to look at this situation in a different light. You sound a lot better than your last post, I’m glad. Take your time, just go slow and steady. Yes, we are still young. We’re going to experience plenty of breakups but that’s okay because it wouldn’t matter in 10 years when we wake up next to someone we love. Anyway, enjoy being single and focusing on yourself because your mind and body is something that will always be with you.
    Ljoy x

    Like

  4. marichaira

    That’s amazing! With the new year just around the corner it’s best work on yourself, especially when you haven’t had the time before. Enjoy it! Learn something new about yourself. Just remember: it’s never an end but simply the beginning of something new!

    Like

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