‘When are you going to be posting a blog post next, Astrid?’
This is a question that my mate Emily said to me nearly a month ago and she also asked me yesterday. It’s a question which makes me extremely happy to hear because someone is interested in what I write but it also makes me panic because yeah, I haven’t written a blog post in a month. Don’t get me wrong; I have tried. I have so many drafts of me writing about a passionate subject but then, after ten minutes, it goes to shit and I have no confidence in what I’m writing. Maybe my lack of motivation is because of the tons revision that I have to do now for my GCSEs and when I do have a break, I want to be away from writing and to be hanging out with my friends. I love blogging; I really do but I don’t want it to become a thing to be stressed about.
My exams start in May. It may sound like a long time but I know that two months fly by and I need to revise. My education, sadly, becomes before blogging so I’m not going to be writing on here regularly and I’m not going to be reading blog posts.
I don’t like to say how stressed or how my anxiety is going sometimes because it feels like I sound like I’m trying to make up an excuse or that I’m looking for pity. However, my anxiety has got worse and I’m currently focusing on myself.
In my spare time, I relax. I read a book about mindfulness and balance or I watch Peaky Blinders. Blogging at the moment has a slight pressure for me as I feel like I need to be blogging and reading your blog posts, maybe it’s because it includes other people. So that’s why I haven’t been posting. I need the time that is away from revision and school to be about me and only me.
I envy bloggers who write throughout the year even during the exam period. I’m so jealous of how they have that ability to have the energy to continue to look at a computer screen for even longer than necessary.
However, maybe after writing this blog post, I will write more than I have done in the past month. Don’t count on it though.
p.s. I’m sorry for being a shit blogger at the moment (I’ll be back fully in a month or two)